When We Were Infinite by Kelly Loy Gilbert Book Review

Title: When We Were Infinite
Author: Kelly Loy Gilbert
Publisher: Simon and Schuster Books for Young Readers
Release Date: March 29, 2021
Pages: 368

All Beth wants is for her tight-knit circle of friends—Grace Nakamura, Brandon Lin, Sunny Chen, and Jason Tsou—to stay together. With her family splintered and her future a question mark, these friends are all she has—even if she sometimes wonders if she truly fits in with them. Besides, she’s certain she’ll never be able to tell Jason how she really feels about him, so friendship will have to be enough.

Then Beth witnesses a private act of violence in Jason’s home, and the whole group is shaken. Beth and her friends make a pact to do whatever it takes to protect Jason, no matter the sacrifice. But when even their fierce loyalty isn’t enough to stop Jason from making a life-altering choice, Beth must decide how far she’s willing to go for him—and how much of herself she’s willing to give up. 

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My Thoughts

**Thank you so much to Simon & Schuster for sending me an Advanced Reader's Copy in exchange for an honest review!**

Beth is a high school senior who is half Chinese and half Caucasian but among her all close group of all Asian friends, she's not always completely sure she belongs. Sunny, Jason, and Brandon are Taiwanese and Grace is Japanese. (We love the Taiwanese representation!) With all the pressure senior year brings, Beth just wants to have one last normal year with her friends. But what happens when things don't go as she planned?

Beth's life hasn't been and isn't easy. Her father left her and her mom but still has high expectations for her: get into Berkeley. Her mother is constantly "hovering" around her and doesn't seem to care too much about college. Life at Beth's house seems to be choking her.

Well⎯" I stopped myself, because I understood something then, all at once, the four of us on the car driving to see him: None of my friends had watched their worlds fall apart before in the same way I had. Because I had spent years of my life dissecting the way things could fall apart, I knew the way a threat could rumble like a fault line when on the surface you could still tell yourself, maybe, that everything was fine.

After witnessing Jason in an act of violence, the four friends decide to never let Jason get hurt again, but as time goes on, Beth feels like she's the only one who really cares. Of course, her friends do care but they also have their own plans to follow. As for Beth, she decides the sacrifices are worth it as long as she can stay next to Jason.

He never seemed to need people the way I always did, that bottomless gaping hole of need inside me. But I wanted him to need me, because the people who need you don't throw you out or leave you, because they can't.

Star Rating: ★★★★★ (5) ♡

Wow, I'm overflowing with emotion and I don't even know how to put them in words, but I'm going to try so here we go. Sorrow, disappointment, anxiety, love, friendship, and loyalty all mixed together. It's deep and painful, full of many feelings. You feel Beth, you connect with her emotions, you even feel the pressure as a senior. It's deep and raw, so real.

Music is big in When We Were Infinite. Violin is Beth's comfort and escape from the crazy world around her. I can relate to Beth's feelings for the violin and the calmness she feels about it. It's like whenever I'm playing piano, the world disappears and I get swept away by the music. 

Everything in this book was in the right place and my first read written by Kelly Loy Gilbert was absolutely stunning. I'm so glad I got the chance to read this and I'm definitely going to read her other books! 

About the Author

Kelly Loy Gilbert believes deeply in the power of stories to illuminate a shared humanity and give voice to complex, broken people. She is the author of Conviction, a William C. Morris Award finalist, and Picture Us in the Light, and lives in the SF Bay Area.